Despite the season’s reputation as a magical time of year full of love and happiness, the holidays can be tough for a lot of people. Sometimes it’s clear why Christmas and the other end-of-year festivities are mentally taxing—like if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one.
Other times, the cause of your holiday sadness is not as obvious: You just know that you’re feeling down, while the rest of your family and friends appear to be enjoying themselves, and full of good cheer. And while you can’t simply snap your fingers and feel jolly, there are steps you can take to proactively fend off your holiday blues. Here’s what to know.
Identify your triggers
Whether you’re dealing with holiday anxiety or sadness, it helps to identify which people or scenarios tend to prompt the shift in your mental well-being.
If you aren’t able to put your finger on specific triggers, the next time you start to feel down, pay attention to what you’re experiencing in that moment: Are you with a certain person, or in a particular place? Is it a song or a scent? Is it seeing other people interact in a type of relationship you’re not currently in?
Knowing what is making you sad at this time of the year is the first step towards working through it, or avoiding it to the extent that it’s possible.
Set clear boundaries
According to Dr. Marc Kaplan, a psychiatrist at York Hospital in Maine, you should take the time to emotionally prepare for get-togethers with family and friends during the holiday season. This includes establishing and then communicating boundaries.
“Be yourself and focus on having a good time,” Kaplan told Foster’s Daily Democrat in a recent interview. “Decide how long you will be there, who you will interact with. Even with people you hope to avoid, you can think of one endearing memory about this person instead of seeing ‘this jerk.’ Think about boundaries.”
Focus on being present, not perfect
There’s something about the holidays that can make people feel like no matter what they do, or how hard they try, it’s never enough. Don’t fall into that trap. Instead, make the decision to be mentally present when spending time with loved ones, and grant yourself permission not to give in to the pressure to be perfect.
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