The Four Styles of Emotional Manipulation


Everybody at some point in their life will have felt the icy grip of an emotional manipulator reaching inside to a part of them which they feel unable to defend no matter how hard they try.

The aim of a manipulator is to do just that, manipulate! The aim of their game is to gain control of the person who is their chosen victim; the reason for this is if they gain control of the other, then that person can be made in many ways malleable to the manipulators desires, thereby reducing any form of threat to the manipulator Usually though, it is the manipulator paranoia and low self esteem which runs amok in their mind giving them the impression that anybody and everybody is, or could be a threat.

To overcome this and to keep themselves safe in their own mind; they will try to trick the chosen victim into feeling vulnerable, so whether or not the victim was to attack, they would usually be unable to.

There are four main types of manipulator to watch out for, and these are

The Rejecter

This manipulator is a particularly nasty one and is cutting straight to the core of the deepest fear of 95% of the human race which is that of being alone. This fear is so devastating that people will do just about anything to avoid it, including trying to win the manipulators affection.

The Insulter

This type of manipulator is “the jovial one” continually cracking the odd joke here and there, comments about weight gain/loss, baldness and any other area that the victim feels self conscious about, but then when the victim says how they feel, the manipulator comes back with “I’m only kidding” or “don’t get so worked up” (a hit and run attack).

The Intimidator

This style is more visible, but they will also try to keep it subtle. This style of manipulation works by subtle or notable changes in the body language, heavier breathing, displaying anger, turning away, raised voice or a appearance of they are ready to attack. A change made often enough using the same pattern but with out knowing why, would often leave a victim confused and on edge fearing the onset of physical violence.

The nice guy

This manipulator is by far one of the most devious. Posing as a friend and giving the impression that they are on the victims side, slowly gain their trust and willingness to open up the heart and then subtly drop in the degrading comments and how although the victim is a great friend some of their views and interests just are not right and then the manipulator will seal the attack with, I’m only telling you because I care, giving the victim the appearance somebody to feel supported by and turn to when in need, but in all essence making them dependent.

Manipulator are sometimes the very in the face types (physical violence) but the most harmful; are the emotional types who get inside their victims mind, hijacking their emotions leaving them confused and vulnerable, giving the manipulator all the power. If you feel uncomfortable around somebody but don’t know why, the chances are you are in their grip and in many cases both parties are totally unaware, but it is your responsibility to stop the game.

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