Welcome to the final article of this four part series of Is there an app for that? We are discussing the components to an application for change. Today we are looking at the component of congruency.
Congruency – the crucial moment where our beliefs, thoughts and attitudes align with our actions.
I meet a lot of people from training and coaching. Many people tell me that they are not good at manifesting change into their lives. My main question for them is this "are you not getting any manifesting or just not the things you want?" Most likely it is the latter.
Everyday there are potholes that we hit in life and they throw us off the past and out of alignment. Self-compassion helps us to get back on track and back into alignment. Our own internal dialogue, especially any negative self talk can often act as a major pothole. When you notice negative self-talk, counter it immediately; don't let it fester. Be passionate and compassionate for yourself and tell yourself the truth – this is how we can get back into alignment.
The truth is, to stay in alignment, some of our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are going to have to shift. If what we are after is more good, better relationships, more happiness – then some of our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are going to have to shift when our actions shift. We have this opportunity.
How can you tell when you are incongruent? Often these beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are so unconscious they are not brought to the forefront of the mind and we are unaware of them; Especially if they have become habits and just a way of life. One great opportunity we have as we travel along the path of change is we get to let go of the things that are no longer working for us.
When we can continue with unconditional love, we can love ourselves no matter what happens. When we are congruent and in alignment
In NLP we like to believe that there what is really satisfying is to have a dynamic balance between congruence and incongruence and a full appreciation of both. Congruence allows us to concentrate fully on one experience in the moment and to either fully appreciate it and learn from it or to get something done. Whereas, incongruence allows us to consider the infinite possibilities and consequences that life fully offers us.
Without incongruence, we cannot fully appreciate congruence.
There is a belief that some people have that say that successful people are congruent all the time. We know that isn't true. Incongruence serves us just as well as congruence because it opens us up to infinite capabilities and options. This simply means, when you catch yourself in a state of incongruence – what can you do or be differently that will help you to make a change and find congruence?
We also know in NLPland that there is no such thing as failure – only feedback. Let that feedback help us to create congruence.
Be compassionate toward yourself, be committed and be congruent with where you are going. Align yourself with these three components and you then have an app for any change.
Yes, there is an app for that!