I was married less than a year when my husband called me on the phone one day to say he wanted a divorce. No surprise in the use of the phone, he proposed to me that way also.
Never the less I was shocked. This had been a real life changing experience for me for once I married I moved away to his state, also quit my job to find work in his home town. Moved my daughters to a new school and literally became a Mrs. and forgot me.
I was angry, hurt and ready to kill him I want revenge. It is a frustrating sort of anger one that slowly builds inside till you want to explode. At first I tried the nice way and cooperate with his plan of separation hoping he would change his mind. I watched as he packed his things and moved out.
Now I was left with alone with my girls in a strange town with no friends of mine own, only his family and acquaintances. I knew I had to get out of there and go back home to where I felt safe and loved.
Quickly I packed and moved in spite of the fact, that it was the middle of the school year and I had no job back home. It felt great to at least have some control of my life.
Once back home, I had plenty of time to think of what he did and my anger grew even stronger. I felt I had left something undone that I had not fought for my side. Now that some weeks had gone by, I started to think this would be a good time to take revenge on my ex, he would never see it coming.
I went over what he loved the most that I could destroy. I imagined traveling back to his hometown he often worked late, so I knew where I could find his car. I could easily sneak into the parking lot and pour red paint on his pretty white car that he loved so much, That would be a sweet revenge on ex.
Better yet for real revenge I could write a letter to his boss accusing him of bribery and theft which would have gotten him fired! Or even calling his mother and lying about physical abuse which would have hurt him and her.
It played over and over in my mind how to do these things and how I would feel after. My girlfriend even volunteered to drive down with me to pull off my revenge on my ex schemes, we had it all planned out.
Then it hit me, what kind of person am I? Do I need revenge in order to move on and feel better about myself? There was nothing wrong with me, I did nothing wrong, it was him who was the idiot. What better revenge on my ex could there be than just completely erase him out of my heart and life. Like he never existed on this planet!
I felt better already knowing I did not have to go to extreme actions to get over him. Hurting him would only prove he meant something to me and that emotion he was not getting ever again. Revenge on my ex would only have hurt me and bring me down for it would not have restored my relationship, one that obviously was not right in the first place.
Yes, revenge on your ex is the first reaction when you are hurt. But if you give yourself time to really think and realize exactly who you will be hurting, it will fade away rather quickly.
Life experiences are only mistakes if you do not learn from them. Now you know to be careful the next time. Take the time to invest in yourself by learning from other couples mistakes. There are plenty of great resource on the internet that will teach you what to look out for and how to build a sold relationship.
Next time there will be no heartaches and thoughts of revenge for you will know more about yourself and how to have a love that will last forever.