How to Build and Exhume Confidence in Yourself

Do you count yourself as being one of those unfortunate creatures of God who are just not worthy of being loved, praised or appreciated? If yes, then chances are high that you also must be very insecure as a person, although you must be doing a pretty good job of concealing it. What you must realize at this point is that try as you might to hide your true feelings they find a way to manifest themselves in form of low self-esteem.

How you feel about yourself and judge your worth is described as self-esteem. To this effect, individuals who feel regard themselves poorly or inferior to others are the ones who suffer from low self-esteem. Having a low self-esteem is not about being quirky but about acknowledging that there is indeed a real problem at hand that needs to be solved before it sabotages all other aspects of life, most important among them being happiness.

Typical Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

Following are some behavior traits that are characteristic of people suffering from low self-esteem –

Extremely sensitive to criticism – Unlike most people who take criticism in stride, a person with low self-esteem is unduly sensitive to criticism. Psychologists attribute this to the uncertain mindset that is characteristic of such a person wherein he/she tends to closely observe other people’s reactions and often arrives at a negative conclusion.

In the event of you being a person with low self-esteem, most of the times you would feel that others are justified in treating you badly.

Socially isolated – Individuals with low self-esteem tend to remain socially isolated, whether it is in form of staying away from a room-mate or spending time on phone despite being a part of a big gathering. Even if someone does try to approach such a person and strike a conversation, the attempt is futile since all that takes place is passing of insecurities in a bid to feel superior.

Attributing everything to luck – A typical characteristic of low self-esteem is to shrug off hard-earned success and attribute it to a blessing or simply sheer luck. The sign of a healthy self-esteem is to embrace success and return the compliment with a simple ‘thank you’. On the flip side, one that is indicative of low self-esteem echoes the sentiment that whatever good happened was either due to someone else or could have been much better.

Appeasement policy – Backing out of an argument willingly or saying sorry to people irrespective of whether they deserve it or not is reflective of poor self-esteem. This is because a person having low self-esteem is scared to express his/her true feelings or opinions for the fear of being laughed at or rejected. Appeasement seems to be the best option to avoid a conflict or an argument.

Fatigue and insomnia – Feeling fatigued or spending too much time in bed without falling asleep reflect on an escapist mentality which in turn stems from low self-esteem. Slouching shoulders are also indicative of the fact that you do not consider yourself worthy enough.

Dealing with Low Self-Esteem

There are several factors that contribute towards a low self-esteem ranging from negligent or uninvolved parents to having a critical peer group, physical or mental trauma, negative thought patterns and unrealistic expectations. That said, it is equally important to bear in mind that self-esteem can be dealt with, meaning it is something that can be changed since it is after all a state of mind.

Raising self-esteem may take plenty of time and practice but as long as you are determined enough to challenge your own mindset and push it towards change, there is nothing that can stop you. Practicing self-esteem exercises and attending self-esteem workshops are some recommendations that could speed up the process but ultimately the choice is yours to make. And when you choose to change your thinking, not only do you gain a healthy self-esteem but also a world of positivism.

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